If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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