he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
