just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
