He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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