Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think i peed on brittanys purse
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
