Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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