We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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