it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
