I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize