I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
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