hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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