Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
