On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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