I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
