is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Randomize
