U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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