i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
