MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
