I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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