Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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