I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
