I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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