I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize