There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
