The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
