it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
