Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
