One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
