I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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