talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
