I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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