Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
