that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
