btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
