did you get engaged???
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
