I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
