I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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