oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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