That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
