My room smells like vodka and shame
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
