I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
