why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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