Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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