i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
My vagina just recognized that song.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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