I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
