do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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