she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
