I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I had to cum in my sink.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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