You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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