i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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