1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
