I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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