piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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