I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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