i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
