I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize