nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
