i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
