Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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