haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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